whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
