pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Congratulations! We have a period
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