You're so nebulous sometimes
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
