I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
