don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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