you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
