I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
