i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
