Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
