every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she pinky promised me she was 18
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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