didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
