so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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