shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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