Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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