i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
