It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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