Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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