I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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