forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
