hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
