Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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