woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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