I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
