the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
