Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
