she was so not down for the gang bang
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
