I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
