Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
