watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
