i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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