Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize