just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also, beer. Big fan.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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