I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
