Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
