To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
