my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize