So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
