so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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