when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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