I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
