I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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