Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
