Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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