There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
