i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
