Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
