So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
