Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
