My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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