Sacagawea was the original milf.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
