she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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