Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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