In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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