this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
