a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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