You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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