i don't like sucking hair
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
